I remember when I was little, Aunt Kelly was dubbed "Cool Aunt Kelly." She would do anything to make us happy, make us laugh. She had this ancient, brown tank-like Suburban, and we'd all load in it, my brother, my cousins and myself. She'd take us anywhere, the pool, the park, for ice cream, wherever we wanted to go. And it was always fun. Now those days are over.
The past few years of Kelly's life were so opposite of the person she was, the person I loved. Since her son Chase died 9 years ago, Kelly slowly died. She put on a happy face, pretended to move on, enjoy life, but she was rotting inside. She couldn't understand how we could move on, how we could be happy when she was so sad. And sad doesn't even do justice to the amount of pain she was in. Her life was shattered, her heart was broken.
So when people ask how she died, I say she died of a broken heart. In all honesty, that is the truth. The choices she made following Chase's death were a result of that brokenness. Kelly had amazing faith, she knew God's love and Christ's redemption, but the Devil preyed on her. He told her lies and tricked her into believing those lies. In the end, the Devil lost. She's in God's arms now, whole, at peace. My heart aches as we realize the amount of pain she was in, and no one could save her, but she didn't need to be, Christ saved her.
I look forward to the day when I get to see her again, when we can laugh again. I take peace in knowing that she isn't hurting anymore, that her struggle is over, but I miss her. I hurt knowing I won't see her on this planet again. She won't see my kids grow up, she won't be there for her son Landon when he gets married, and there will be a void in our lives that only she could fill.
I pray that she knows how much I love her, how much I miss her. I wish so many things, but most of all, I wish I could have hugged her one more time.
I love you Aunt Kelly Sue.
|My Mom, Me, Grandma and Aunt Kelly at my wedding.|